B's Ranting.

He's just a kiddo,

from the old block.

Where people ridicule his being.

I would never understand him

Because I would never be him

Yet people talk and make buzz

Walk and fuss

As if he's been born to their moth'r

Once I stumbled across him

on the road which I thought would never be taken.

He smiled

(I didn't)

and I walked without turning back

I gave him a cold shoulder

(and I cried regretfully every night, until now)

I could feel him in my heart,

My blood, my body...

He's living in me

(Would you still ridicule me?)

***

I guess my brain has shrunk. I lost most of my vocabs. I couldn't even think of the term "conducive" to describe classroom (Can you believe that??? We've been through and through the word for million times!)

SOS.

-Miss B-

Down Dawn

Today when everything started to feel wrong again, I stopped to catch my breath. I felt like walking in a strange land where tears were my bestfriend. I longed for solace and the warmness of home. I had no idea where the way out was, the path to lead me home. I was lost and suffocated. It was chaotic and in a mess. The tumult of the battle's aftermath dizzied me.

Suddenly, the decision that I've made so long ago felt wrong, like I've been living in a reverie, and now reality is knocking on my door. I need an angel to bring me home.

-Little E-

I found it hard!

Wandering in a foreign land can be very challenging. I never expect that my journey will be this hard (or maybe even harder). Culture shock everywhere. I hope I can improve on my language. Not everyone on the road will smile back when I smile at them. Fortunately, I have my friends. They are there, and their presence make me more confident. I thank God for everything.

-Miss B-

The Story Behind Her Smile.

Tonight was great. Another part of me was revealed. It was fun to discover something new but I ain't gonna make it a habit.

***

I have just realized after so long that I’m not good in getting along with others. I have great friends indeed. But the problem comes from me itself. No one is to be blamed. I have a lot of things to learn.

Another thing is I feel bad of doing mistake. Especially when I'm so confident about something and it turns out to be wrong from others' perspectives. I care about what people think about me. I always want to give positive impression. And that makes me a coward. Scared of doing anything because I don't wanna do wrong. I guess, that's where I miss my lesson, my life learning lesson. I have the tendency of pulling out of almost everything due to my lack of confidence. Which goes back to my scared-of-making-mistake story.

I wish I'll learn more.

-Miss B-

Trouble is a friend yet trouble is a foe, owh owh...

When thing goes wrong, people tend to hate their lives.

I wish I could despise mine too without feeling guilty to the Big Guy up there.

I've been given a lot of things. Yet when life starts to turn upside down, I forgot all the good things ever happened to me, and took them for granted.

I'm not a saint. Yet, I never want to be evil.

This life is not as simple as one may say.

Yet, it won't be too complicated if you know how to find a way out from troubles.

I hope I'm wise enough to be out of the world of idiocy.

-Little E-

If only we could wish upon a star

I never wanted it to be this way.

No one will ever hope for the worst upon his life.

I wish we paint bright colours for our story.

and sing beautiful melodies for our song.

You and I,

holding hand together,

welcome turbulence...

because there's something special between us,

buoyed us up

and tell,

despite of Sturm and Drang,

We are going to get it through...

-Little E-

Hey, you...

Future is unpredictable. I had just written a happy post for you, and now I'm overcasting this page with unhappy elements. Bad me.

I'm not pleased.

And I hate the fact that I get disappointed very easily.

I'm not proud of it.

But I'm not Merlin, and I have no magic to stop the curse of frustration from overwhelming me.

I do wish I have a great will power, to will and tell myself to be happy straight away. To be forgotten that I'm frustrated. Maybe I need time.

I am unhappy and I wish that I could have understood you.

But I hope that you will, too...

We're stuck in dimension of time, in different world with a great barrier between us.

But I'm holding on, and dream of a time where both of us shaking hands again, and leave all painful memories behind...

Will we?

I looked in the mirror and found a girl wandering in wilderness.

Would you ever hand a hand to me and bring me home?

To our home?

Together, you and me?

-Little E-

On your mark, get set...

I'm in a foreign land now for the sake of my future.

Today was the beginning of Lent, and I was thinking of attending a mass in a church nearby but ended of not going because I have to be in a college program shortly afterward. However, I managed to attend the evening service and God knew how glad I was to be in a place where I could meditate and feel His presence. I was there with some friends of mine and although we were in small group, the fact that we were being together really pleased me. I thank God for everything, for all the blessings that been given to me. I'm at peace :)

I hope this is a good start for a new beginning.

I will continue writing for the sake of language improvement. After all, writing liberates me! :)

-Miss B-

Holiday Ends.

Update: Miss B is going back to school after months of holiday! (Should I say "Hooray" for this?)
No feeling.
But I'm expecting for a new experience in a new environment! So, shall I say, "Get ready to be on EXPERIMENT field?"

Never mind. My mind is in frantic mode.

Relax...

Okay, I want to talk about my new favorite song. No, Actually more to publishing the lyric up to this page. :)

21 Guns
-Greenday-

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
***

Will talk more about it later.

_missb_

The Story of Hers.

Hey there, I'm back.

And don't worry, this time there'll be no grumbling about my frustration or temptation or whatsoever it is!
I'm doing fine, and glad at the fact that my tiny little soul is still upholding the self-value of mine... that the temptation failed to make me disobey my gut, my conscience...

I guess I owe you pictures to be up into this page. So far, this is all I got.














I love this photo. It really pictures me. Life is about aiming. It doesn't matter if you manage to shoot exactly to the Target. But it is the how that makes you, you... Always have faith, it's soon gonna be yours...

Oh yeah, I can be deep sometimes. Ha-ha!

Till later!

-Miss B-