Be Humble, Dear Heart

I was inclined to do my very best in every assignment. I wanted to get an excellent grade. I wanted to be able to tell others, "Hey, I'm not stupid. See, I got an A for my assignment". I had a strong tendency to drive myself to the highest peak.

But, I forgot to learn.

I forgot to take delight in doing those assignments.

I forgot.

To enjoy knowledge.

***

I could see that I have a strong passion in writing and learning language.

-Miss B-

Long Long Ago

Somehow this song has been in my mind for quite some times recently...

I googled it, and I found this in the Youtube.

Tell me the tales that to me were so dear, Long, long ago; long, long ago. Sing me the songs I delighted to hear Long, long ago; long ago. Now you are come, all my grief is removed. Let me forget that so long you have roved. Let me believe that you love as you loved, Long, long ago; long ago.

Do you remember the path where we met? Long, long ago; long, long ago. Ah yes, you told me you ne'er would forget. Long, long ago; long go. Then to all others, my smile you preferred. Still my heart treasures the praises I heard. Still my heart treasures the praises I heard. Long, long ago; long ago.

Though by your kindness my fond hopes were raised, Long, long ago; long, long ago. You, by more eloquent lips have been praised, Long, long ago; long ago. But by long absence your truth has been tried. Still to your accent I listen with pride. Blest as I was when I sat by your side, Long, long ago; long ago (Thomas Haynes Bayly, ca. 1830)

It sounds so beautiful...

-Miss B-

Clarity and Grace

Will it be much easier to bear if I am to be ignorant?

Sigh.

Certain things are beyond human understanding.

-Miss B-

ps, I'm on a mission to learn English cliche as much as possible.

I'm speaking out of your context. Sorry.

I try my best not to condemn others.

"Don't you condemn me because I'm a follower.

Don't you condemn me because I'm not"

As a believer, I try my best to convince my heart to surrender everything to Him.

I do (I guess), in my own way.

When I am in need of something, I will talk to Him.

and I will try my best to work real hard. My weakness is, I just can't go on and act as if I were not bothered.

Maybe because I believe He will help me as long as I put on my effort.

I always dream of being "Beautiful"...

I guess, it's not the "product" that counted in other to be one. It's the process.

-Miss B-

Wish List

Procrastination.

If it were a piece of tissue, to the toilet hole it goes. Flushed and gone.

If it were a plate of leftover food, to the "charity for ducks and seagulls" it goes. Eaten and forgotten.

If it were a leaf, to the far far away unknown kingdom it goes. Wilted and blown away.

I wanna be more hardworking than what I am now (Am I considered to be one? L.A.Z.Y. Those alphabets describe me best)

*Laundry's been washed and folded

*Room's been tidied up

*Assignments' finished in or on time

Yup, I wanna be more diligent!

-Miss B-

Admiring how violet the sky is...

-Miss B-

Unpleasure Ramble~~

I just don't have a clue.

In my heart, I feel sad seeing certain people condemning others just because they have different belief... because they stand on the other side of the view.

How I wish that we have all the space in the world to accommodate all. But we don't. We are confined by boundaries and thus force us to push others so we'll have more space for ourselves. Sadly, everyone is becoming more and more selfish. Say that they have no choice, that they are doing it for everyone's benefit. But the truth lies undercover. No one really comprehends what is kept inside once's heart. No one would ever be able to know things inside out.

I don't want to condemn.

I don't want to give false testimony for things that I myself barely understand.

But submitted to human nature: weak and confused, I tend to fall into this category, although it stands strongly against the values that I have tried my best to uphold through and through.

That probably explains my subservient nature which Polar Bear tries so hard to erase from my life's dictionary. He describes me as naive and childish, easily influenced and misled, tend to be stubborn and do things without thinking.

Life demands decision.

To live is to choose.

We decide what's the best for us.

and that makes we learn.

I just realize that I talked really bad about others just now... And now I feel bad... Sigh...

-Miss B-

An Excuse to Escape!

I know... I know!

I should have been working on my assignments...

Oh please give me few moments to be indulged by saying my thoughts out loud up here!

Have I ever told you guys that I'm a fan of Sarah Brightman? Owh, she's brilliant, man! I love her soft soprano voice... there's just something about her song that I hardly describe with words... it could be the melody, the lyric, or the vocal itself... Everything blends beautifully... lead to some sort of effects... something soothing... so close as if it talks to the soul, buoyed me up highly in reverie, with lots of undescribable feelings mix together...

and this is one of my favourite...

I found it in Youtube by someone called Azurelce5.

-Miss B-

"Not handsome enough to tempt me"

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you"

(Mr. Darcy, in Pride and Prejudice)

I decided to turn my head away from my heartache-causer assignment and continue to write for a new post. Sigh, ignorance strikes me again! Now, I believe that I'm privileged enough to be the world most professional procrastinator! (Don't gasp, children! this is the younger version of Miss B!)

Oh well, nice tagline!

"Miss B, Young and Ignorant"

If I were in Jane Austen era, I would probably lose my chance to marry a true gentleman like Mr. Darcy! No men are such in favour of a young ignorant, intolerable woman!

Owh, I shouldn't be too hard on myself! *vanity flings*

Back to work, B!!!

errr, Owwwkkkkaaaayyyy.....

Till later!

-Miss B-

The Price of Ignorance

If only my regret can change everything all over again... sigh

A lecturer of mine once told us to keep a portfolio, for it would probably help us, especially in our future teaching practice.

Oh, to tell you one thing, there's something special about how things work in the uni where I'm studying now. They have " the Blackboard".

Blackboard is the uni's online site where students can access all the course-related materials uploaded by their lecturer. Yeah, student like me (who's so slow in writing) can benefit a lot from this site for we sometimes don't need to write down the notes given in lectures because they are all in the Blackboard. All we have to do is to enter the website (password's needed though) and Voila, the access to almost everything needed in the course! You name it, the readings, the lecture notes, the assignment info, etc... How convenient!!

But... (I always hate the "but" part)

As usual, I took it for granted.

I didn't care too much about it.

and yeah, I didn't really keep most of the lecture notes during the course because I thought that I could always go to the Blackboard, and read them straight from the monitor screen (i didn't even save them into my thumbdrive!). What I didn't know was I wouldn't be able to access all the notes+info once the course ended! That explains why my lecturer asked us to keep a portfolio in the first place, so it would save us from all sort of hassle in retrieving them back once we finish the course! But I didn't! How ignorant!

New semester begins, new assignments on the table.

As usual, they challenges me mentally, emotionally and physically!

But things would probably be different (and much easier, I supposed!) if I kept a portfolio during my previous course! I just realize it few minutes ago that the portfolio could probably have saved me from the misery of "I-don't-have-any-idea-what-I'm-gonna-write-about-in-this-assignment" syndrome! urgh!

Another lesson to be learned.

-Miss B-

I learned a tip from my current effective writing class: Proof-read your essay before handing it in. Another way of proof-reading is by reading it "backwardly" (from the conclusion to the introduction). Good luck, Me!

Pandora's Box

I felt like giving my back to the world.

My hatred roasted everyone.

My envy pursued them.

I was soaked into the darkness inside out,

left cold and numb.

I was left behind time.

I couldn't summon my energy back.

I was too weak to even stand.

I was defeated.

Heal me.

Hope, where art thou?

***

Inspiration just hit me to write such post. No, I'm not in distress.

I couldn't sleep. I miss Polar Bear and my family back home.

Life has been hectic lately. Test, assignments, lectures, expenditures, house-hunting (oh yeah, I'll be homeless next year unless if I find one. It's such a huge thing for me. It matters a lot.

and makes me think a lot too.

Have faith, me.

Your wish will be granted if you work hard...

-Miss B-