I've been terrifically busy. And I did a lot of things that I regret later. These past few weeks have revealed me the other side of me. One of them is, I'm worst in working in group. Most of the time I prefer working alone. I think it's much easier and I don't need to feel bad afterward for not doing my best and affect the other groupmates.
But my future career demands me working with people, and that terrifies me. I'm a person that stressed out easily (no, I'm not proud of it) and when I work so committed in something, I expected my other groupmates put the same effort. I don't think people will choose me to work with. I'm probably the last choice because I have a tendency in making others stressed out, especially when they don't show me the same commitment like the way I do
It's like learning to live with others, and some people are just good in being a pain in the neck.
May my heart grow bigger to be capable of 'forgiving'
This page has been left unattended for quite a while. I've been busy being a student and a teacher at the same time. I had my practicum for three days last week and enjoyed every moment of it!
But now, I'm back to my student life, try to finish everything before its due. It's so chaotic!
I hope I can write more on this page... I really have to go to bed now... Not that I'm sleepy but I have a class at 10, and hopefully will be able to wake up at 6 so I could continue working on my assignments. It drains off my energy to bits!
Hopefully, I can spend an hour or two this weekend to update this page... I hate seeing it abandoned.
Oh, I'm in love with this song now
Alex Max Band's "Only One"
My eyes are painted red The canvas of my soul Is slowly breaking down, again Today I heard the news The stories getting old When will we see the end? Of the days, we bleed, for what we need To forgive, forget, move on Cause we've got
One life to live One love to give One chance to keep from falling One heart to break One soul to take us Not forsake us Only one Only one The writing's on the wall Those who came before Left pictures frozen still, in time You say you want it all But whose side you fighting for? I sit and wonder why There are nights, we sleep, while others they weep With regret, repent, be strong Cause we've got
One life to live One love to give One chance to keep from falling One heart to break One soul to take us Not forsake us Only one Only one
Just you and I under one sky
One life to live One love to give One chance to keep from falling One heart to break One soul to take us Not forsake us Only one
One life to live One love to give One chance to keep from falling One heart to break One soul to take us Not forsake us Only one Only one
When I was a teenager, my parents always commented the way I talk to others, especially with my friends. They said I was prone to be rude, undermining and hurt others. I wasn't really bothered, as for me that was my way to socialize and bond with others. But now, coming to face the reality, I guess they're right. I have a great tendency to hurt people through the way I approach them. I'm rude and egoistic. And I'm always defensive; I expect people to hear my justification. I hate to be sorry and I'm rarely empathic. I'm oversensitive as well.
I guess this song describes me well
It's difficult to see from the surface. But everything goes in and it stings, like a spider. Hits you deep inside and
Chorus: I know that you are just like me, oversensitive. We're and ordinary breed Taking everything for much more than it means. Well it's dangerous, and it's sweet. Cut us and we bleed.
All these words that we speak casually. Well maybe im just weak, but it hurts me. Everything you said x3 Well it cuts, like a knife it hurts me deep inside and
Chorus
I should put on my armor the next time I see you So I won't be harmed. I know I can shoot my own arrows. Im sorry I hurt you. I know that like me you can be oversensitive.
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba da Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba da Ba Ba Ba
Chorus
Yeah its dangerous and sweet. Don't you know its dangerous and it's sweet? Cut us and we bleed.
I always think that I'm not good with relationship, that a person like me is better off staying alone. Becoming a hermit is one of the options. You're far away from civilization, it's just you and yourself. You won't be hurt because you won't be able to hurt others.
Apart from being an ideal place to study, library can be a quite depressing place. You look around and all you can see is people deeply engaged with their studies. Well what do you expect? It's library! Welcome to the world of nerdy-ness (if such term exists). If you're lucky you probably spot one or two secretly browsing their facebooks (I'm one of them!) but at the same time trying to appear busy with notes and pencils in hands...
But I kinda love this place. It's warm and quiet... and most importantly, my bed is not here to lure me to dreamland... zzzzzZZZZ
Well life has its ups and downs. Mine now has been lower than usual. I have to catch up with a lot of things like practicum, group project, lesson plans, essays, project again, etc. To top it all, I got a challenge from Polar Bear last night. He asked me to "back down and listen more". This is a difficult task for a talkative like me (who sometimes can be gabby!)
So Polar Bear reckons that I should lessen my babbles which most of the time make me childish and silly. I said "OK" and here I am now, channelling my thoughts up here and trying my best not to forfeit the challenge.
I don't know why but ever since I jumped off the plane last week (of course with a tandem master, to whom I was attached to) I feel like I've become an adrenaline junkie. I was never an adventurous person. But once you did something extreme, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't help but to be addicted and yearn for something more.
I suddenly feel like the world is my playground. Of course the fear is still there, but I couldn't resist the temptation. I'm drawn to explore the adventure.
If you're a female, you're surely more attracted to look at the person in red rather than
the little frightened-but-having-fun critter attached to him!
(Ladies, his name is Sergey, and he's from Russia *wink*)
I wish I could do it more. And this time I want to do it alone, without the tandem master behind me.
