Hey everyone! quick updates about me:
- I'm married to my college sweetheart --> yes you guess it correctly, Polar Bear!
- I got pregnant within months after the wedding and I'm a proud mother to a baby girl!
- I got back to work after my maternity leave - about 2 moths + after the labour.
- While I was at work, my baby was taken care by my sister for about three months.
- Found out two weeks ago that she was called to a job interview, and therefore we had to find someone to look after my baby while my husband and I are at work.
- I was worried when my husband told me the daycare that we've been planning to send my baby to had no vacancy!
- But we were lucky because a staff who works with my husband told that she could help and would talk to the manager to let my baby in.
- So today was her first day of daycare. I was not at ease. I missed her the moment we left the daycare (I felt numb initially, then tears came down streaming my face out of sudden)
- I feel so helpless at the moment. If only getting an unpaid leave is a choice, I would definitely do so. I can't bear the thought of leaving her in the hands of strangers (in my mind she is crying her heart out, hoping Mommy and Daddy or her Aunty B appears and hold her).
- My poor baby, I'm so sorry for having to do this for you. It's definitely not the best for you. Your grandma has offered to care for you but then I can't bear the thought of not seeing you everyday since they are staying a couple of hours away.
- I pray that those with caring hearts will be the ones who look after you while Mommy is at work. Mommy will try my best to be there for you always. May you always be protected and surrounded by those who love you. Please Lord, protect her always. I won't be able to forgive myself should anything happen to her...

So this is how a mother feels like. You love unconditionally. With your spouse, you probably get sulky once or twice and then tell yourself you don't love him/her anymore (few seconds before you sob and call him/her that he/she is your other half - you can't function without them). But with your baby, you are left without choice, condition, etc. Be it rain or sunshine, YOU HAVE TO LOVE THAT TINY LITTLE THING (and you don't even know if they love you back).

-worried mom-