Different flocks on the floor.

I learned a phrase, or maybe an idiom, which goes like this: birds of a feather dance together. I think it summarizes well my previous post. It's true, indeed. I mean, we'll surely fond those who share our interest or opinion, won't we? But coming to think about that, it suddenly dawns on me that Polar Bear and I are not really 'birds of a feather'. In fact, I sometimes believe that we both come from two different planets which varies to bits. Of course, there's certain interest that we both share, but you still can tell the difference. Say in music, we both love music, and we both listen to it while we are working. But the genre may be different. He always called most numbers in my mp3 'weird', and I found some of the songs he listened to 'childish'.

And today, we fought again. Well, not really the fight that you see in drama where tears and shouting come in. Ours are more to a debate (We've been doing this since ages, even long before we knew each others' hearts and said "I love you"). He's really good in provoking. And I, an egoistic being myself, can't stand him poking the issues that bound in my 'expert area'. He criticized me for being so emotional in expressing my point of view, in which he called unconvincing. No doubt, I was offended. I wasn't trying to impose my belief on him, but rather to tell him things that I knew. Of course, I wasn't good in details, my memory didn't work that well and I wasn't even closed to being particular about every single thing.

I don't know why I suddenly become overwhelmed whenever we have this kind of 'conversation'. If it were another person, I wouldn't probably bother to tell him things. In reality, I'm rather pessimistic. I don't have the gut to debate with others especially when they appear to be the know-it-all person. I prefer to just nod my head, though I know they are wrong. But it was different with Polar Bear. Maybe because I have a high expectation on him, I couldn't stand him being wrong (he's always the one with the brain, anyway). Or maybe being the person who always comes the second after him; I, to some sort, want to be on the winning side.

Now, I have a different point of view. But I wouldn't say that my previous entry is a complete rubbish. It's indeed true, that to a certain extent, we are drawn together by our likeliness, similar interest, so on and so forth. But I can't deny the idea that sometimes, it's the oppositeness that binds us together. As most says, "opposite attracts". Like magnet, we are attracted to the 'different poles'. Maybe the magnet concept explains my relationship with Polar Bear best. He's different, and this difference draws me to him. And we learn to dance together, though we are of different flocks, different colours, and possibly different brains. Maybe sometimes it's better to accommodate and value our differences rather than to ridicule them.

-Miss B-

I just want to be 'Normal'

Sometimes in life, you'll meet people who view things from different perspective, or people who don't share the same beliefs or values as yours. Conflict occurs when these beliefs don't fit one another. So, what would you do?

This question has bugged me for quite a while. You know what, if you're not careful enough, it's easy for you to offend or hurt others. It's probably easy to say, "oh well I can't please everyone" but hey, even if you can't, that's not an excuse for you to be ignorant. In fact, it can be a major breakdown of relationship, and you may hurt others even more.

Questions to ponder, why do you think you're close to certain people but not to others? What is it that makes you disclose certain things to this group but not to the other group? Isn't it because there's time when you feel comfortable with this group than that group?

And what is it that makes you feel comfortable?

The answer that I normally hear is "because we can 'click' well". The person that you 'click well' with may share the same values as you, or favour the things that you also keen to.

But what happens to those who don't share the same thing, or who are being quite 'different' from you? Will you call them 'weird'? Probably. In fact, I used to be called as one just because I was different from everyone else. Ironically, when I learned to be 'normal', to be just like everyone else, I started to dislike these 'weirdos' (who I was once). Maybe that's why people become bully. Because everyone hates the victim, and thus it makes them a part from the group if they hate the victim as well.

I think that's why people have to learn to RESPECT rather than to TOLERATE. To tolerate makes you accept or endure someone or something unpleasant, but when you respect, you're actually being considerate not to hurt or harm others.

But I also know that the former is much harder to do. How can you respect something/someone when you dislike it? You've no choice but to tolerate. I guess for now, to tolerate is probably something that I have to learn before I proceed to respect. In order to learn how to respect, I probably have to stop being pompous, to stop thinking that I'm better than everyone else.

Thinking about this reminds me to what my parents told me years ago:

"Although you dislike one, you should always smile to that person. Be nice to everyone".

No, they didn't teach me to be hypocrite. They taught me to tolerate, the best start for me to know life before I could learn how to respect others myself.

Respect, a big word that I wish to manifest more in life.

-Miss B-

What a day!

So yeah, I had a quite interesting day.

I woke up at around 11 am, took my shower, and then went to the town. Then, we went to eat at a food court, which was quite a scene for me. I walked to a stall and asked the lady at the counter nicely with smile on my face. But I was taken aback when she treated me coldly, as if I was someone who didn't worth her time. Thinking back how she frowned at me when I was ordering food was enough to boil me up! I felt like shouting at her face, "I'm your freaking customer! How could you make me feel like dirt???"

I cursed at her in my heart (and even in a language that I thought, and prayed, that she wouldn't understand). And I didn't say a word when she said her cold 'thank you' after I paid. I forced myself to swallow the food that I ordered from her. I was so angry, annoyed, and irritated.

I cursed over and over. I glared at her stall. Even my friends told me to calm down.

But then, I felt bad. I should have just been patient enough. I felt sorry for the lady. She probably had a rough day. I guess I had just committed a sin. I was so sorry, and asked forgiveness from the Big Guy up there.

Sorry Lord...

I must have disappointed Him. There you go, Me. You've still got a lot to learn.

It was a good lesson. I know that I'm a person who couldn't tolerate impertinence because I was raised to respect and be polite to others. But I also have to know that not everyone comes from the same background as me. So that's where tolerance takes place.

Till later, toodles!

-Miss B-

Love is in the air, therefore, breathe and live!

***Warning***

If you're not too keen with lovey-dovey post, kindly leave this site now.

***

Yesterday marked the fifth year of Polar Bear and I being together. Oh, how time flies! If it were a baby, it's by now 5 and in kindergarten already.

I'm thankful to God for everything, for He was, is, and will be there throughout my journey with Polar Bear...

and to Polar Bear,

thanks dear for everything. I hope that I will always be able to be the one who loves and comforts you throughout good or bad times... and I know we fought a lot in the past and even on-going, but it was really an honor, a blessing for me to "grow up" with you all these years... and may I say the words that I would never be tired or bored or sick to say, that it's always my pleasure because that's how I really feel about you...

I love you...

-Polar Bear's Honey-

Open secret

I'm an unpublished singer who's looking for a band. -el-oh-el-

Well I wouldn't need one if only I try my best to learn to play guitar.

In fact, I did try once. But I discovered my fingers were too short, and were not quick enough during the transition of chord to chord. For example, when I start playing with G, I find it difficult to change to C, without pausing. They said practice makes perfect but I wasn't patient enough to practice till I become perfect.

Should I learn guitar, again??? should I??

mmm.....

-Miss B-

Q&A

It's funny to think how little it takes to misunderstand something/someone. And when you do, you suddenly go mad. It's even easier to go mad, to be angry, and to let silence does the talking.

But what happen to the person that you are mad with?

Will you give her/him the chance to explain? She/he probably hasn't done anything. And you take it to a new level.

It's something to ponder upon. Sometimes you probably didn't do anything. But you get the blame, and you may think that it's not fair.

I come to believe that's how life leads. I just hope that I have the strength to persevere.

-Miss B-

From Laundry to Drama

I did my laundry yesterday and found out that it wasn't dry as much and sort of damp. Some of the clothes were even wet. So I made an effort to hang them out on my laundry line in my bedroom. Bad decision. I woke up this morning next to the laundry line and those clothes smelled really bad. Really bad till I couldn't find an English adjective to describe it! I thought the smell would be gone if I dragged the laundry line outside. It didn't. Bad came worst, I had to re-wash all the clothes and spray my room with my air freshener + perfume just to get rid of the smell.

Okay, enough with my rant about my laundry. Now, let's talk about something else.

I've been reading Harry Potter and it was really good. I had fun imagining things and learnt new vocabs from it. J.K Rowling is indeed an awesome author! I feel like becoming a child myself who never wants to grow too old for another adventure with Harry Potter.

Besides Harry Potter, I also spent few hours to watch Korean drama series with my beloved flatmates. I was hooked! Despite the corniness and drama that sometimes made me feel like banging my head over the wall, I was definitely taken aback with their acting. The actors acted really well with their facial expression and voice tone... and I must admit that the camera angles and movements were indeed very effective in portraying those acting! I found myself screaming wow!

Okay, I think that's all so far. I'm having an appointment with a doctor tomorrow. I hope everything is alright.

Till later, be good!

-Miss B-

My Holiday Plan

I reckon it's been forever since I last updated my blog.

Hello folks! How's life been treating you???

I'm on semester break right now, and I tell you it means paradise to me! No more sleepless nights burning the midnight oil just to catch the deadline the next day!

Or even if I stay awake the whole night it's because I want to give way to my movie marathon or facebook stalking (oops, I didn't just say that!) or whatever I want because I have all the time in the world before the next term begins!

Long story short, FREEDOM IS MINE!

But of course, even if I want to do a lot of things (and I wish shopping is included), I won't ever be free from my financial curse -- it's not really a curse, but if you're a poor-student-yet-ambitious like me, you surely know what I mean.

Apparently, I got my study allowance for 4 months in advance earlier this time. But it's such an agony... Why? because I can't spend it until next month. If I do, I'm going to starve for the next 4 months. It's as if you have mounds of gold coins in front of your eyes but you aren't allowed to touch them, because they aren't really yours till the time comes, how sad!

But I'm indeed thankful because it came out earlier this time.. at least I can start budgeting my expense... and hopefully I become wiser, and discipline myself not to squander more...

Okay, let's not talk about depressing subject!

I think I'm going to spend my whole sem-break reading Harry Potter. I know I'm a waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy behind time, but it wasn't really my fault for not speaking English when I was a kid, was it? Plus, J.K. Rowling never translated those books into my mother tongue... So, it's no one fault anyway :P

I think I should stop ranting now. I'll talk to you again soon.

-Miss B-