Self-Mirroring

When I failed my driving test two years ago, I told myself that everything happens for reason. Up to this moment, I still do. Maybe I'm just comforting myself, I don't know. But deep down in my heart, I did feel disappointed with myself. I felt like a loser.

I try to contemplate where my weakness is. Undeniably, I'm a nervous person. I tend to get jumpy when I know people are assessing me. Although how good I am at one thing, I'll be like a real beginner when it comes to assessment. I don't know.

I'm trying my best to be calm lately. At the same time, I train myself to be organized. Maybe that will help lessening my jumpiness.

-Miss B-

I wish I were at home.

Alright folks, this is quite embarrassing... but this big girl here wants to confess something.

I'm homesick. (boohoo!)

I keep on thinking about these monkeys.

Although they can cause a real pain in the neck sometimes, they're the faces that I would love to see when I wake up in the morning... I've been away all this while and I didn't really get the opportunity to see them growing up... (gosh, I'm becoming more sentimental nowadays)

And when I say I'm homesick, this monkey is listed as well.

He'll leave for Sydney soon. Wish he'll do well in his final year.

-Miss B-

Fresher again!

*Dusting the page*

Huh, it's been a really long time! Hi folks, I'm back from my long hiatus! Well, you might be wondering about my whereabouts, what I've been doing, what kept me from updating this page... etc..etc...

There were many massive things going on. First, leaving Aotearoa after two years of memorable time while studying there. It was like winning a lotto. I was offered to study oversea, a dream that I once thought impossible. Now, I'm back to my homeland and of course, I'm expected to offer something out of the two years journey. It wasn't easy to leave. In fact, I couldn't stop my tears when I bid the place farewell (though I tried my best to stay tough). I've learned a lot, meeting new people, and growing up along the way.

After I came back from oversea, I had one month break before moving on to the final year of my degree program. I enjoyed being a stay-at-home daughter@sibling. I met Polar Bear couple of times in a week, and it was great being his co-driver (Polar Bear has just got his license and thus he needs more practice and *cough*cough* support from the most awesome partner@passenger in the world, which is I, me, and myself! Give me a round of applause, folks! :P

(someone please slap this writer for her vanity)

Then, I left for college and this time we are no longer allowed to stay in the hostel. Hence, my girlfriends and I have to find another place to stay. Thank God, we managed to find one. It was a bit stressful at first. The house was not furnished, and for the first time I was put in a position where I had to buy mattress, table, chair, and a lot more things on my own. I lost control once. I was so tensed, I couldn't think and I burst into tears. It was too much for me. But praise the Lord for His kindness and provision, I received support and helps from girlfriends to settle a lot of things including furniture and place to stay till the house was tenantable. I'm in debt to all of them, my current and previous flatmates! and what makes me even more grateful is Polar Bear's visit! He helped me setting up my furniture and even fixed the window and modified the curtain for me. Not to forget my family who've been helping and supporting me emotionally and financially (students' allowance are not given yet :S) Mucho gracias everyone!

Well, I'm back to school. I thought I could handle my stage fright after two years of being away. I didn't. There's a lot of things that I need to improve. Guess what? Today, I mispronounced a word in class. It was so embarrassing. I said 'gras-shopper' instead of 'grass-hopper' for the word grasshopper. How miserable is that? Goodness, I'm to be a teacher in few months, yet my pronunciation is worst than ever! Help!

I think that's all I can update this time. Till later, be good everyone!

-Miss B-