Practicum!

I could write 1000 reasons why I love being a teacher, but at the same time I could also list down 1000 reasons I question myself if this is the right profession for me. I love the teaching part without having to think of how to control the class. I tell you what, I suck big time in classroom management. My mind became blank when I saw students went crazy, chaotic, and out of control. I found myself catching my breath when students started shouting and calling out during the class. And by the end of the day, I felt like a failure. That was not the feeling that I would love to come home with! 

On my second day of practicum I thought about quitting. I questioned myself if I was really meant to do  teaching. My friends told me that I'm a great teacher. But I couldn't help feeling hopeless when I went out of one of the classes that I sat in for that day. It was a total mess, so hectic. I was discouraged and to a certain extent, I felt like banging my head against the wall. But I learned a lesson. Never come into a class unprepared, especially when you're a novice. Now I understand why my lecturers emphasize greatly on lesson plans. Lesson plans at least would prepare you mentally, and alert your mind that you're to become a teacher. While writing your lesson plan, you actually can visualize how the class would be during the activities, and might be rehearse what to say (I found this important as well as I tend to stutter and my grammar goes all out of the place when I'm panic or nervous!) 

Another interesting experience was when I dealt with Year 1 pupils. They are so adorable, and can be a real joker sometimes. But it's not all pretty or cute story when they fight with each other and cry! Strangely enough, kids fighting can be quite contagious. While my friend and I tried to calm down two pupils who were crying and fighting, another pair was actually brawling at the back. That was a real nightmare!

But that was the ugly side of the experience. I got my reward watching them engrossed in their drawing activity afterward. There was this one little boy who was disruptive at first. He shouted and contributed to the chaos in the class. But when I asked him to draw anything that he wanted to (with a little bit of push and persuasion, of course), he came up with this beautiful sketching of him and his dad walking in the park. I was deeply moved and I learned not to judge a child through his or her disruptive behaviour. He/she can be a real darling, and yes, has a lot of potential to offer.

I'll have more stories about practicum coming up after this. Hopefully they not all frightening or frustrating! Wish me luck!

-Miss B-