The Ironic Me.

My Polar Bear told me not to run away from problem.
It's not easy. I've tried, but of no avail.
I know I give too many excuses.
The most ridiculous part is, I know exactly what my problem is, and I admit it (which takes a lot of courage because I have to lower down my egoistic nature), and yet I'm not ready to let go.
Polar Bear is worried about me.
I am too.
But my heart refuses to listen.
Although there is another noble option, I choose to run away.

Polar Bear asked me, "is this what you're going to teach your children?"
and I couldn't tongue any answer.
I'm caught.
I hate myself for being so irrational.
I feel like my logic is deceiving me.
I don't know what to believe or to hope for.

In fact,
I'm deeply hurt.
Sigh, if only I learn to keep a civil tongue in my head...

Dear children,
I'm not proud of being the way I am now.
Still I'm trying...
I hope you won't give up trying too...

-Miss B-