When I was in my younger years, I always heard phrases like 'friendship forever', 'forever friends', 'friendship never dies' and so much more. Here and there I saw youngsters used those term to describe their relationship with their friends until one point it became cliche. They might have really meant it at first but as time went by, the meaning left the words. As they grew up, they grew apart from each other without even realize it.
It's just sad to think about how closed you were to a person once only to look at them one day as just somebody that you used to know. They've grown apart from you, and the distance grows wider day after day.
As for me, I think I had best friends in every phase of my life. I had a playmate when I was a toddler. I had several bosom friends who were always with me when I was in primary school. I had some confidants when I was in secondary school although the number decreased as my senior years approaching. I had some people who I called 'chums' when I was in my previous college. But just now when I browsed through my Facebook page, it suddenly dawned on me... something like 'hey, I used to be closed to this person... when did we start to grow apart from each other?'
It could be my own fault... Maybe I didn't make enough attempt to stay in touch... maybe I let the distance grow wider and let time carries us away from one another. It's so sad to think that every time I go back to my hometown, I don't have anyone to meet up with. It's as though I have never had any real friends. Maybe after all, I'm just the friendless nerd whose aloofness is her best attribute...
It could be my own fault... Maybe I didn't make enough attempt to stay in touch... maybe I let the distance grow wider and let time carries us away from one another. It's so sad to think that every time I go back to my hometown, I don't have anyone to meet up with. It's as though I have never had any real friends. Maybe after all, I'm just the friendless nerd whose aloofness is her best attribute...
Although I'm proud to say that I have best friends around me now (those I've known since I entered the teaching college), those thoughts actually lead to another question... Am I going to lose my friends that I have now? Are they going to be the next 'somebody that I used to know'? I couldn't help feeling sad over such thoughts... But no matter what, I hope that I will always be closed to them.
I rarely mention about them in my blog but it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate or approve their existence in my life. Most of the time my posts are depressing and I don't want to associate my friends with anything that is related to my sombre mood. They deserve the best. However, since I'm dedicating this blog to my children, I think they have the right to know about the wonderful people around me who actually make me the way I am now...
I don't know if you all would read this but sincerely from my heart, thank you so much for being a part of my story. I thank God for sending you all to my way because you've taught me a lot of things about life. There were times when situation got the best of me and thus I'm so sorry if I've ever hurt you. You're the awesome bunch in my life and I love you all! :)
-Miss B-
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