Saturday, May 8, 2010

"Sharing ain't boring"

I woke up this morning feeling as if I have the whole world on my shoulder. I felt extremely burdened. I went to bathroom and broke down under the showering water, feeling almost suffocated.

I was so distressed.
and I hate myself so much.
I despised all my imperfect beings.
I regretted all the stupid things I have ever done.

I felt so small.
I felt so inferior and vulnerable.

But then,
I breathed slowly (I didn't know where did I get such strength), and started humming softly... almost unheard...
"Everything's gonna be all right... Everything's gonna be fine..."
I repeated the mantra for over and over...
and the burden seemed lifted up bit by bit...

My point here is, no matter how difficult a situation can be, you have to find your inner strength back... It's not easy... Sometimes you have to try so many times in order to do so...
You have to decide on your own... because no one knows yourself better than you do. Seek for help, if you need to... Pray for wisdom, for ultimately you still have to decide...

-Miss B-

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