Being a huge green monster

Last night, I went to the cinema to watch The Avenger with my flatmates. Polar Bear had watched the movie earlier yesterday, so when he told me it would run 2 and half hours, I started to worry. I'm not a big fan of Marvel's superheroes, and I'm only familiar with Thor as compared to the rest (thank to Polar Bear who dragged me to the movie last year). Before stepping in to the cinema, I was like... Oh gosh, I would probably fall asleep half way!

But it turned out awesome. The superheroes were humourous! I actually enjoyed laughing most of the time, although I was quite disappointed with Thor because he didn't do much in closing the portal (to stop Loki's army from coming in to the planet) as compared to Ironman (he won my heart when he sacrificed himself toward the end!).

I was quite fascinated with The Hulk as well. I've just found out that he would turn into that green monster when he's angry. Well, that's a new information for myself.

Talking about anger, I think I could be The Hulk right now. There were a lot of things happened, and they were not according to what I've expected them to be. I'm actually mad at myself. Mad, for being so helpless. For being in a situation that I was forced to. Mad, for the responsibility that was pushed toward me when I thought I had already washed my hand of it. I was utterly frustrated

But learning from *Dr. Dan Gottlieb's 'Letters to Sam', I calmed myself down at these sentences:

The root of frustration is desire... the big question is... how do we deal with the frustration we feel when our desires are not satisfied? When frustration is unchecked, it turns to rage, and rage trigger actions (p 69-70).

Yes, I agree with him when he told about how hitting the wall is not a bad thing. Yes, he's definitely right about "the wall is there to teach us a lesson" (p 70).

So I think, it's time for me to reflect on the events that made me angry. To ponder upon the lesson that I have learned from the problem. To stop blaming myself or others that had caused me this misery - including my laptop, for shutting down suddenly after the battery went flat.

To Polar Bear, I'm sorry for losing my temper. It's so uncool of me. I love you, and thank you for being there and listening to my tantrums although it has nothing to do with you.

-repentant Miss B-


*Gottlieb, D. (2006). Letters to Sam: A grandfather's lessons on love, loss, and the gifts of life. New York: Sterling.