My Guilty Conscience

I had one lecturer who was doing her best to assist her students. However, from all accounts she was quite conventional, and hence she was criticized for this. It was so sad to see the size of her lecture, which was quite big at the beginning... The number of students who attended the class decreased day after day...

I always struggled to stay awake during her class... It was a great agony to restrain myself from dozing off... As a result, I sometimes skipped her class because I 'believed' that I wouldn't be able to learn anything from the lecture... that even if I come, I would have just wasted my time and hurt her to see me snoozing while she was talking in front. Bad me.

Never in my mind I have ever thought that one day I would probably experience the same thing as she did...

She might have to stay up till late just to prepare for her next lecture. She might have to read piles of books till her eyes got sore just in case if her students come and ask her about the lecture...

She might have worked really hard just for one lesson which last for about two hours... and yet students don't even bother to come...

and just now, when I was doing my preparation for the next task, the thought of her suddenly came into my mind... My ego tries to forbid me from imagining students calling me "Miss Boring" behind my back... I shuddered at the thought of it...

I felt so sorry for her and I wish that I would learn from this... to appreciate what a teacher has done for her/his students...

Hey Miss X,

I'm sorry for not being 'good' in your class.

I couldn't help my ignorance.

I wish I would have listened to you...

I would probably have gotten more knowledge

to be passed on to my students...

I wish you well

and please don't give up on your students...

they probably haven't open their 'inner eyes' yet...

Give us more chance to learn...

Best wishes,

-Miss B in the making-