Talking about behavioral management.

I came to this page just for the sake of writing something. I don't want to abandon it too long. I don't want it to be left unattended, dusty and forlorn...

So I'm gonna carry on with my rant.

Today I learned something from my lecture. Well, it was a long story but I would summarize it based on the thing that I have understood.

If you want to correct a student/child/learner behaviour, use "I-message"; but if you want to praise him/her, use "You-message".

For those who don't have a clue what I am talking about, you can google "I-message". If I'm not mistaken, Thomas Gordon was the one who first proposed this idea (I-message).

You can click on the link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-message (Thanks to Wikipedia. It makes things much easier!)

But to make it clear for you, I would give some examples.

Situation: A student is reading a book quietly on her seat. A teacher comes and tell her, in front of the whole class.

Teacher: I like the way A (the student) spend her time. She sits quietly on her seat and read her book.

Well, according to my understanding, the teacher shouldn't say such thing, especially in front of other students. The teacher as if tries to manipulate the other students' behaviours. To cut a long story short, the teacher is kinda comparing his/her students with the others.

When I was young, I have always hated it when I was compared with others, or adults told me that I should behave like A or B or C. I felt like bursting out, telling them to shut up, and letting them know that I was different. I couldn't be like others, but I definitely could achieve something through my own way. I wonder what would happen if I have the courage to tell them about how I feel back then...

Okay, I shouldn't talk to much on my personal experience. Now let's go back to the topic.

In my opinion, the teacher should use 'You-message'.

For instance,

"When you read your book silently on your seat, it will help you in your assignment."

I guess it sounds more sincere compare to first one. The teacher acknowledge the student's behaviour and let she/he knows how such behaviour help her/him.

For more information about praise and punishment, kindly refer Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards.

It's interesting to know what others think about behavioral management and then reflect it our own beliefs.

-Miss B-